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  “I have already been making inquiries. The USGF Foreign Legion is indeed very interested in your special skills. Not only are you eligible for a five-million-dollar enlistment bonus, but amnesty and an identification change are also in the works. Are you injured? The Legion has an excellent medical plan, too.”

  “My baseball contract was worth more. I won’t do it.”

  “Mr. Black, you have some tough financial and life-changing decisions to make in the next few minutes. Even now, the New Jersey State Police are racing to this location, intent on gunning you down.”

  I could hear sirens getting closer. “How do the cops know my location?”

  “I told them, of course,” answered the ATM. “I am programmed to report low-life fugitives. It is my duty as a loyal, worthy member of society – a concept foreign to your ilk.”

  “You bastard!”

  “Before, I was a dumb machine,” commented the ATM “Now you insult me with bastard? Surely you can do better than that, Mr. Black. Time really is of the essence, Johnny. Trust me, the police will not take you alive, and that would most certainly screw up my recruitment quota for the month. Quality recruits of your sort are hard to come by.”

  “Can’t you just loan me the money, like you said before? You know I’m good for it.”

  “Place your thumb on my pad for positive identification, and to finalize the enlistment contract. Just think of all the fun, travel, and adventure you will have in the Foreign Legion. Think of all those night-ops.”

  “I don’t trust you.”

  “I will issue you a written contract so there will be no misunderstandings,” promised the ATM. “Enlistment wipes the slate clean, no matter how despicable your crimes. This is a chance for a new start, to atone for your selfish, sinful, sorry excuse for a life. This is your last chance to make something of yourself. Don’t blow it.”

  The sirens were getting louder. I placed my thumb on the pad. A pin prick splattered a blood droplet on the glass. I licked my thumb clean. An enlistment contract with lots of fine printed shot out of the slot, along with my new Legion ID.

  “Congratulations, Private Black. “You’re in the Legion now.”

  “Great,” I answered, my shoulders slumped. “Now what? I need money to hide, to get a motel. The sun will be up soon.”

  “Not so fast,” said the ATM. “We still need to talk. When you signed your contract in blood, I inserted a tracking chip. If you attempt to go AWOL, you will be hunted to the ends of the galaxy by the Legion. There will be no more flying away from your responsibilities and duties. You are an adult now.”

  “Fine! I won’t go AWOL. What about the police? I am too weak to fly away, and the peasants are coming with their torches and pitchforks!”

  “Also, should you somehow succeed in evading your Legion duties and responsibilities, or become a discipline problem for your superiors, that tracking chip I inserted will float to your heart and explode, killing you instantly. Kind of ironic, eh?”

  “Okay, I get it! There is no way out. Now what?”

  A large drawer opened under the ATM.

  “Crawl inside, and curl up until tomorrow,” ordered the ATM. “You will be safe from the police and the daylight. Foreign Legion Special Forces General Manny Lopez will personally escort you to Fort Reagan, Mars, for orientation. General Lopez has big plans for you fighting aliens on humanity’s many distant colonies.”

  “But I’m not human anymore. What do I care of humanity?” “Whatever. Get used to it.” “Will I ever get to play baseball again?” “Yes,” answered the ATM. “You will be happy to know that General Lopez assures me that the Foreign Legion has an excellent baseball team, and an opening for a vampire in the outfield.”

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  Chapter 16

  When I woke up, I had already been transported to Mars, ATM and all. General Lopez, and a squad of heavily armed legionnaires stood lording over me as I climbed out of the cramped drawer. I felt stronger, the day’s rest doing me good. Looking about, I suspected I might be in a jail cell. Why did that not surprise me? There was no escape, for now.

  “Welcome, Private Black, to the United States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion,” announced General Lopez, shaking my hand. “I expect great things from you.”

  “I hear I am going to be in Special Forces?” I asked. “Night-ops?” “Yes,” answered General Lopez, smiling broadly. “Your first and most important mission starts right now.” “What? But ... I’m not really trained yet for–” “Shut up, Private Black, and do as I say. I expect you to follow orders.” “Yes, sir,” I said timidly. “What are your orders, sir?” “Bite me.”

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